Leo Sings The Blues

Ok, let’s get this straight, August is a pivotal month for me, one more year one more chance.

I think of myself as the auteur of my life, “a singular artist who controls all aspects of a collaborative creative work, a person equivalent to the author of a novel or a play.” The problem with this is that if you fuck it up the play closes after opening night.

My play didn’t close but my backers had me on life support after opening night. It took rewrites, lots of them.

Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish. Lose track of the 400 pages and write just one page for each day, it helps. Then when it gets finished, you are always surprised.”~John Steinbeck

Steinbeck’s advice for writers is advice for life.  “Abandon the idea you are ever going to finish” but when you do, make sure you’re surprised.

Life is a constant, not a straight line, lots of bumps and curves but the only one you’re likely to have. So, forget the 400 pages you have written before and start over again, one page at a time. It’s your story and you, only you, will write the end. Make it exciting, make it creative and make it your own

I’ve found more inspiration, more cheerleading,  more personal success, more love in the 7th chapter of my life than all six that came before.

So what’s the big deal, I’ve had an epiphany, what am I supposed to do, pat myself on the back or share the love?

It’s about the love my friends. I know it sounds hackneyed, corny even but that’s the only word that works. When you love you expose your vulnerabilities, as the kids say, you let it all hang out. The weakness and the talent. Love does that to a person, it’s the magic sauce, the inspiration, the motivation. Love doesn’t compromise it just is. I suppose I’m preaching but I don’t know any other way to say it except to say it.

I started my 7th chapter after a 25-year career in industry, I thought at the time this must be all there is, “love-work-play-die”. Then the epiphany.  I woke one day with Confucious on my mind-why Confucious, I have no idea!

His words resonated with me:

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life”

That’s when I realized that I had spent the first 25 years of my career in a job I was good at but really didn’t love.

This decade of my life turned that around, I found the work and the people I love and that has made all the difference. I can’t wait for the next chapter of this improbable memoir, I’m writing it now and it’s a page burner~stay tuned.

“–well, it’s true that I have been hurt in my life. Quite a bit. But it’s
also true that I have loved, and been loved. And that carries a weight of
its own. A greater weight, in my opinion. In the end, I’ll look back on my life and see that the greatest piece of it was love. The problems, the sadness
… those will be there too, but just smaller slivers, tiny
pieces. ”

S. Dessen